As I write this, I’m sat outside my cute bamboo hut overlooking the mighty Mekong river. There’s a hammock to one side of me, and a cold beer on the other…..paradise right? What I haven’t mentioned, and what most bloggers never do, is the other side to this paradise — I’m constantly either batting a persistent fly, or a blood sucking mosquito away whilst trying to smash down whatever food I have in front of me before the ants get to it. I’ve been bitten by Mosquitos, bed bugs, spiders, ants and sometimes share my room with roaches.
Here comes my confessions of my Travel Blues……
I am always hot, except when I’m freeeezing cold on an aggressively air conditioned bus. I prefer too hot, Oli prefers too cold.
The phrase ‘I have nothing to wear’ is sometimes factually correct. My clothes are never piled tightly on top of my head because they are only ever washed in cold water. Anything white is now grey. None of my tank tops fit me, and not because I’ve lost weight.
My beautiful wardrobe
I can only bear to wear my hair piled on top of my head in a bun, which has left me with fluffy, broken hair around my scalp like a baby. My hair is so dry, I only shampoo it once a week (sometimes less!) and the freshly washed feeling only lasts for approximately 10 mins.
As soon as we get to a new place we have to start thinking about the options for leaving. These are never simple, unless you’re in Thailand. We’ve spent hours trudging round with our backpacks in 37 degree heat to find a room that is a) clean and b) in our budget.
We have to act like A listers and demand that our salad is washed in mineral water…..that goes for ice cubes too. We even have to brush our teeth in mineral water (I don’t do this, I think it helps my immunity).
We are always a target for being conned or scammed, particularly by tuk tuk drivers.
Our bowels are rarely tip top…….apologies for this one. Travel days are particularly stressful, and every toilet break feels like playing Russian roulette.
We never get a good brew. Especially in South East Asia……and don’t even talk to us about bread (excluding Laos, which had delicious baguettes aplenty).
And did I mention I have nothing to wear?
All of the above aside, travelling is amazing. In my most homesick days (St George’s Day was a low point, despite the fact I’ve never celebrated it in England before) I still have to pinch myself at how lucky I am to be here on a Monday morning and not sat in front of my computer.
Damn you Jamie Oliver!
I could still murder a jacket potato though…..
featured image courtesy of roamaholic.com